planning

I keep thinking about how I'm going to get back on track losing weight. It's been so long since I've lost anything significant, but I think I can manage.

Maybe I'll do a kid food sort of diet. You know, things like carrot sticks, apple sauce, clementines.

I think I'll only eat things in increments of about 50 calories.

• 12 carrot sticks~ 48 calories
• 1 applesauce cup~ 50 calories
• 1 cutie~ 40 calories
• 1 cup cooked broccoli~ 55 calories
• 7 raw almonds~ 49 calories
• 2/3 cup Kashi whole grain puff cereal~ 46 calories
• 1 veggie hot dog~ 45 calories
• 1 cup almond milk~ 30 calories
• 1/2 banana~ 50 calories

Okay, I'm getting a bit obsessive, so I'll stop there. But, I do like how childlike and tiny the portions are. I can have as much mustard and hot sauce as I want. Teeny tiny bites. I'll aim to have three meals per day with three of these items per meal.

I also want to start going to the gym at my college again. Yoga, spinning, whatever. I just need to get there.

My first psych appointment is tomorrow. I will not be telling her about any eating disordered behaviors, but I suppose I could mention my body dysmorphia. If she notices me losing weight, I'll tell her I've been too busy to eat or something.

I just want to be skeletally toned. Like, I want visible ribs and abs. Sharp collar bones and noticeable deltoid muscles. Thigh gap with a perky ass.

You get the picture.

My ideal BMI is 16.5. That would be perfect.

I'll make a sidebar with my stats, so you get me.

Signing off now.


Kate